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DID YOU EVER LOVED ME

My love story huh ? I don’t know whether I could call it a “Love story” because it is not a story of love ! Or may be it will be one , I guess I am not sure ..
Of course their is a girl , yes a girl ohh she ! Every time I start writing I could never define her as she is .. and thats where I stop it . But I now wanna know whether she ever loved me or can she ever love me

As all the boys of my age I did have a long history of flirting with many girls both online and offline but I never took anything too serious or let’s say I was friendzoned . But the day I met her , those dumpy cheeks and those eyes perfectly drawn with mascara, did take my breath away. I laid my eyes on her from the very moment I saw her .

Those days were beautiful with her laughter and giggles late did I realised she was turning into someone whom I shall fight with any force to make mine !! For her I was her “Bestest” friend to be precise . She always hung around me of course she had other friends who were boys . Still we shared a special bond with all the late night chats and video calls . We bitched about everything in the world, we shared our grief, happiness, I felt like home in her . And yes I was falling for her !! But for her she confessed nothing about our relationship and she said she wanted me as her again the “bestest” friend .

We used to hang out together , After a visit to a water falls with our friends , we stayed at one of our friend’s place that night . After the tiring day I was so damn tried that I just needed to lie down somewhere . I sprung into the bed as soon as I reached and everyone did the same . I had a friend of mine one side and she in another. Though I was so tired I did have a consciousness that she laid right next to me . Soon I was dragged by the sleep and I woke up realising we were kissing ,her lips pierced into my heart harder than it did on my lips ,my heart froze for a moment and I couldn’t stop or may be I never wanted . After fifteen seconds we stopped and she laid eyes closed right next to me . I felt freaking unreal I was absorbed in to that moment for ever . My mind kept paraphrasing it again and again . Any way the stroke of ice that hit my heart absorbed me so much that I was awestruck and expressionless . I turned around against her , cold hearted . But it wasn’t for long I was killed by her hands wrapped around me her chest so pale and calm touching my back .She hugged me like a teddy and for me I was one , quiescent, tranquil, astounded doll . I could never or I will never find exact words to describe what I felt at that moment . I was drowning in to her and she tied me into her for ever with her malicious hug . She kissed me again against my back and I was as cold as a stone .

After that day she was never the same, she was stamped into my heart . But she was moving away literally , she went away , we talked hardly , we slowly became complete strangers . I could never stop loving her, sometimes I do get frustrated a bit because I couldn’t move on . Every time I get close to a girl things never work out and every time I end up at the fact that it’s her whom I really need , nothing could be her for me . And now as she lament about her boyfriend in her instagram stories , I lay all night looking at the sky searching answer to a question that always killed me during these years , Did she ever love me ?